Smile & Laugh 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

[Cherry]

MM

Your jokes are plenty.

Your jokes are funny.

They made me laughed and laughed like crazy.

Hahaha, Hohoho, Heyheyhey, Heeheeheeheehee.

[Cherry]

Top 10 Clues Your Best Employees are Leaving

* They start dressing better
* They take lunches at different times
* Their production drops off
* They seem "quiet" or "down"
* They request vacation one day at a time
* They are "sick" more often
* They stop championing their positions
* They stop volunteering
* They get more incoming phone calls than usual

and number 10

* They ask you for a reference

[Cherry]

(This is based on an actual experiment conducted in the UK) :

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up.

Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

Then one of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.

All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. however, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the nonsense out of him.

This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water.

None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.

*..................and that is how most companies' policies get established.*

Sometimes, it feels like this at the workplace. Employees just do certain procedures because others are doing the same....without knowing why they do them and whether what they have been doing all along can be improved or changed. They say its the policy. At times, it feels it's just the standard practices that have been passed down from employee to employee.

[kennynah]

thanks to all who contribute to this laugh laugh thread...makes my day every time, i come by here...

very funny lah, most jokes.... if u have made them up, then you are extremely creative

many thank yous...

[Cherry]

TRAIN TICKET

Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl.

At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the men.

"Watch and learn," answers one of the women.

They all board the train.

The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.

The conductor takes it and moves on.

The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed man.

"Watch and learn," answer the women.

When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.

The woman knocks on their door and says, "ticket, please."

I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than women?

[kennynah]

now....this is not funny ...

no lah...it is hilarious....another thumbs up !!!

[Cherry]

Ken

Not funny, Oh ?
Must have hit your ego.
Then comes a thumbs up.
Thanks for the cheer up.

[kennynah]

cherry : your jokes...of cos funny... and true that men must be made fun of at times, to sober us up....

[millionairemind]

The Fastest Thing in the World

There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of them thought was the fastest thing in the world.

Well the first guy says, "I think a Concord Jet is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of sound."

Well the second guy says, "Well I think I got you beat on that one! I think lightning is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of light and sound."

Well the third guy says, "Well I believe i have both of you beat. The brain is the fastest thing in the world, because whenever you need something, it is right there for you."

Well the fourth guys clearly states, "Well I have got you all beat! I think the anal sphincter muscle is the fastest thing in the world."

The other three guys say really? Why's that?

And the fourth guys says, "Well I was on a Concord Jet, it got struck by lightning, and I didn't know what to do ... so I shit my pants!"

[millionairemind]

Adult joke. Please skip if you are easily offended.

Hidden Content:

Duct Tape
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Jeff.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

(Paul slumps back over the bar again.)

"I kicked her in the face."