Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Oct 11)

[millionairemind]

Last 10 cents


A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy three 10 c coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face....
The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back..

The boy coughs up 2 of the 10c's but is still choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting
at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the
newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried,
across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's'
testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly..
tighter and tighter !!
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the 10c's,
which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to
her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to
the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that
before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

'No,' the woman replied.
I'm with the SINGAPORE INLAND REVENUE..'

[winston]

Anesthesia

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side.

A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”

[winston]

No Ears

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way.

One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business called Plexus Communications. After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But, after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him.

The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Merv asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears." Merv got very angry and threw him out.

The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" and she replied: "Well, you have no ears." Merv again was upset and tossed her out.

The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Merv was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered: "Yes. You wear contact lenses."

Merv was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?"

The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!"

[behappyalways]

唐僧给孙悟空的一封信

http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/memory/399172.html

[iam802]

唐僧给孙悟空的一封信

http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/memory/399172.html

Funny. They also have the letter from WuKong to Bai Gu Jing as a follow up

[kennynah]

i thought it would be a video ... mana zai... it is written in chinese... i contemplated if i should read it... but decided..it's late and i'll get a migraine after reading...so... i'm sure it is funny

********

minutes later... i was too tempted...so i read it...

funny ...hahahaha....funny...

[winston]

Idiots Jokes

There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig.

The other would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.

A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them.

He said to the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!"

The hole digger replied, "Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today."

[kennynah]

hahaha.... i must be rather retarded...took me 10 secs before getting the joke

[winston]

And this is how you create GDP in some countries eg. empty cities, empty 6 lane highways, empty high-speed airport trains, nice pavements that are destroyed and paved again every few months etc

[winston]

Brothel vs Church

"In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church.

The church and its congregation started a compaign to block the brothel from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the brothel and it was burnt to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in the outlook after that, till the brothel owner sued the church authorities on the grounds that the church through its congregation and prayers was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his brothel, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons for the act of God.

As the case was its way into the court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: "I don't how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a brothel onwer who believe in the power of prayer and we have an entire church that doesn't".