Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Oct 11)

[millionairemind]

Dear Friends:
Listen to your kids if you want to know what the wife thinks of
you...CHEERS!

A man hunted a deer and took it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decided that they won't tell the kids what kind of
meat it is,
but will instead give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates,
so they begged their dad for the clue....
Well, he said : ' It's what your mommy calls me sometimes. '






The little girl immediately screams to her brother :




"Don't eat it ! It's an ass****...!"

[winston]

Kid Jokes

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.

Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."

Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what you've been doing."

[Chinaman]

Hi Guy,

this computer show girl swee bo....relax n enjoy viewing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ttks7szd4Y

[kennynah]

these exhibitions are fast becoming meat parades

[winston]

Bar & Drinking Jokes

A man with a wooden eye was very sensitive about his eye for fear of people making fun of him.

One day this man decides to go out and have some fun. So, he goes to a bar and orders a beer. Then, out of the corner of his eye he sees a woman with a flat face.

He thinks,” Well, she wouldn't make fun of me because she would understand how I feel." So, he finally gathers up the courage to talk to her, he goes over and asks her, “Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"

And the woman answers, “Would I!!!" (Wood Eye) The man, obviously offended, screams, "flat face!!!" and storms out of the bar.

[winston]

Work Jokes

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway.

He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

[behappyalways]

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:"can kids of our age have kids?"

Teacher replied " NO Never!!"

Boy said to girl :"see i told you not to worry!!!!".

[winston]

The economy is so bad that:The Mafia is laying off judges

[winston]

Elderly Jokes

A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers…”

Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the geezer said, “You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young; so we invented them! What are you doing for the next generation??”

[millionairemind]

Subject: What does Emeritus mean?


GOOD ONE !!!!! .. hahahaha

Someone asked what does the Emeritus Goh Chok Tong title mean ?

This guy came up with the answer...


*I don't think you can get a better explanation than this. This interpreter is ingenious...*

Someone looked up the dictionary and came out with the following

*E* = Expired

*M* = Minister

*E* = Earning

*R* = Ridiculous

*I * = Income &

*T* = Title

*U* = Usually

*S* = Superfluous