Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Oct 11)

[Cherry]

Brilliant Indian

Now, you see the Indian is not as foolish as you may think him to be. He has good eye sight that endows him with foresight;

not like many others who only have hindsight!!

This is absolutely brilliant!

A naked and drunken woman boards taxi in London one night.

The Indian driver keeps staring, and does not start the taxi.

Woman: "Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

Driver: "I'm not staring at you lady….

Just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me"

[tonylim]

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The welfare clerk behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The welfare clerk said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

[millionairemind]

Not sure if anyone of you here watches THE FAMILY GUY.

Its on FOX and its hilarious. If you like dry American humor, this is for you.

We chanced upon this cartoon only this week.

[tonylim]

Subject: Lights On



I'm sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor's offices on everything from tissues to note pads This one gets First prize....


.

[winston]

WORLD SURVEY BY PHONE

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a massive failure because of the following:

1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
6. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
8. In the UK they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

[winston]

Extract from Tony Blair's new book!

------------------------------

I had regularly started jogging out of Downing Street . On each run I happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day.

With some apprehension I would brace myself as I approached her for what was
most certainly to follow.

"Fifty quid!" she would shout from the kerb.

"No way, 50p!" I fired back..

This ritual between myself and the hooker continued for days.

I'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty quid!"

And I'd yell back "50p!"

One day however Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany me on my jog.

As we jogged nearer the problematic street corner, I realised the "pro" would bark her 50 quid offer and Cherie would wonder what I'd really been doing on all my past outings.

I realised I'd need to have a damn good explanation for my illustrious lawyer wife.

As we jogged into the turn that would take us past the corner, I became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker.

I tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair of us jog past.

Then, from the pavement, the hooker yelled,

"See what you get for 50p?"

[behappyalways]

Kids playing police in Chinese TV programme


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGvXLcAu ... sponse_rev

[behappyalways]

The Bridge of Death

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV0tCphF ... re=channel

[winston]

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair to brunette ?

Hidden Content:

Artificial Intelligence

[winston]

Irish Christening

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, 'Ma'am, you had twins.... a boy and a girl. The babies are fine; However, they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately so your brother Paddy came in and named them.

The woman thinks to herself, ' Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother he's a clueless idiot... Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,' Well, what's my daughter's name?'

' Denise' says the doctor. The new mother is somewhat relieved, 'Wow, that's a really beautiful name, 'I guess I was wrong about my brother', she thought....'I really like Denise

Then she asks, ' What's the boy's name?'

The doctor replies ' Denephew '