Smile & Laugh 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

[millionairemind]

Starting his taxi business

Ah Beng started his taxi business. As he did not have enough money, he had to get 3 other partners with him. They bought a brand new Perdana and started looking for passengers. They went to KLIA but nobody hailed their taxi.
They went to Chow Kit road yet nobody hailed their taxi.
They finally drove to Sunway Pyramid, even there nobody hailed their taxi.
Finally they were fed up and gave up and said, “Taxi business cannot do one lah” Why did Ah Beng fail in his taxi business?
Because Ah Beng and his 3 partners were sitting in the taxi!

[millionairemind]

[kennynah]

one glance...gives me headache...

so, i edited this post to "hide" it...be warned...see already sure headache one...

Hidden Content:

[Cherry]

Char Kway Teow

Three friends went to their usual favorite char kway teow stall in a HDB food centre.
They were Chia Hong Chu (holiday bungalow), Goh Pang Sek (5 room flat) and Sah Pang Sek (3 room flat).

The char kway teow stall was crowded, and there was a long queue.

'Ah Pui! Three plates, hah!' cried Chia Hong Chu.

'Sure, boss! Coming!'

Within the next 2 minutes, the first plate of char kway teow came and was plonked in front of
Chia Hong Chu.
'Where two more?'
'Wait lah! Coming! See long queue!'

Chia Hong Chu tucked in his char kway teow. Half an hour passed, and the second plate came, plonked in front of Goh Pang Sek.
'Where my?' cried Sah Pang Sek.
'Coming lah!' said Ah Pui.

Goh Pang Sek tucked in his plate, and another half an hour passed before the 3rd plate came, plonked right in front of Sah Pang Sek.
'Wah! Got to wait so long ah!' said Sah Pang Sek.
'Don't make noise, Mr Sah. You get same good char kway teow, best in Singapore!'

When they have finished eating and chatting, Chia Hong Chu called out:
'Ah Pui! Collect money, ah!'

Ah Pui came over. 'Sah Pang Sek, $3. Goh Pang Sek, $5. Chia Hong Chu, $10.'

'Wah! Robbery! I always pay $3. Why $10 now?'

'Ai yah, Chia Hong Chu. You don't read newspapers meae? You don't watch TV mare? This is gahmen food centre, heavily subsidised rent.
Last time hah, everyone eat my char kway teow subsidised because cheap rent.
Now upgrade. See new clean tables, new chairs, ceiling fans? Cost money, you know.
And we have means test now. Ah Chia, you live in chia hong chu (holiday bungalow),
and you pay full, no subsidy. $10.
You don't like, don't eat here. You eat in hotel in Orchard Road.'

'But I get the same food!'

'No. You get 5 more harms , and you get served first, no need to wait. 5 harm service1'

'What about me? Why $5 when I pay $3 last time?' cried Mr Goh. 'And I wait half hour!'

'Ah Goh. You also kinna means test. You live in goh pang sek (5 room flat), you wait only 30 minutes, I subsidise 50%. And you get 3 more harms -- 3 harm service.'

'Why I wait 1 hour and no extra harm? So damned hungry I can die waiting ah!
And why no extra harm? Not nice with no extra harm.'

'Won't die lah. We give you same good food. No extra harm. You pay only $3. Heavily subsidised -- 70%.

[kennynah]

next time...compile all these.....make a movie...but dont employ jacky neo as director...

[millionairemind]

Ah Beng's Love Poem
To Ah Lian ...

Your beautiful face no fight,
Silky hair everybody like,
Your horse figure no horse run,
Big big eyes, small small mouth, cannot tahan,
One word, marry wife follow wife, marry cat follow cat,
You go there, I go there.

If you are the moon, I'm the star beside you.
If you are a flower, I'm the leaf of your flower.
If you are shit, I'm the fly.
When you are bathing, I'm the soap.
To sky mountain sea corner,
You are my woman this lifetime.

From Ah Beng.

[Cherry]

About Marriage

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Sam Kinison

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Anonymous

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine." Anonymous

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henry Youngman

[millionairemind]

Dead bird in the sky ?
One day, Ah Beng was walking with Ah Lian in a park. The place was beautiful with flowers and birds. All of a sudden, Ah Lian said, “Look Ah Beng, dead bird lah ?”
Ah Beng looked skyward and said "Where got , Where got?”.

[kennynah]

Artificial Intelligence

warning : do not see content if you are easily offended by sexually explicit pictures

Hidden Content:

[kennynah]

next toyota model