Smile & Laugh 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

[kennynah]

hahaha...

i cant remember if i had said this joke here before...if i did, just pretend u r hearing it for the first time (humour me...hahaha)
*****************

frederickson tan ah seng went to new york city
upon arrival, he went to the money changer...

seng : "how much US lollar, use sengapoh money"
money changer : "S$1.40 for USD1"
seng : "ok, i chain $100"....took his USD and went on his way....

2 days later...seng went back to shop, asked the same "how much" question...
this time, money changer said : "1.50"

seng : "wah liao, how come dat day 1.40 now 1.50, u wan bluff me ah? why now more money?"

promptly money changer said : "fluctuations"

seng was fired up....almost wanted to jump across the counter and wallop the money changer...but he wised up...thinking maybe he maybe hauled to jail...not worth it...

so, he walked away, still fuming mad nevertheless....then, he turned around and roared at the american

"fluck u too, americans !!! "

[Cherry]

Hoo...Hoo...Hoo...Heard your funny joke for the first time, and laughed till my mouth bubbled like a Hoo.

Do you know Ah Beng, Ah Seng and Ah Bee are 3 blood brothers? And they always go everywhere together?

..................................................................................................................................................

Noe Easy to be a Singaporean

I am Ong Ah Bee living in Kampong Chai Chee

Life used to be simple and HAPPY

I worked hard in my STUDIES

I learned A-B-C and everything from 1, 2, and 3

Primary school was quite easy I passed PSLE

Then I went to SECONDARY

The subjects include HISTORY, GEOGRAPHY Physics, Biology and CHEMISTRY

After O levels I went to JC I was quite LUCKY

This is a small humid tropical COUNTRY

Not surrounded by ENEMY

Boys turned 18 must go to ARMY

After that we must continue our Study

The girls can just sit back, relax and watch TV

They come to this world only to "Chia Liao Bi"

No one lives on free meals or depends on CHARITY

I had no money to go to University or Poly

So I went to work at a FACTORY

Trying to earn a little lousy SALARY

After CPF and INCOME TAX, I have just enough money to buy ROTI and ride in MRT

Colleagues at work used to be FRIENDLY

Always treat me to tea and COFFEE

Somehow they turned FISHY

Passing bad remarks about me

Telling everybody I am LAZY

My bosses show me no SYMPATHY

Mumbling over my shoulder daily

"HURRY, HURRY and HURRY!"

Accusing me of always trying to get MC

But my sickness was due to over-stretched OT

Going home after midnight by TAXI and They pay me only bus fee

I Park-Tor and became STEADY

Finally had to MARRY

I lost money holding Wedding Dinner PARTY

Cheeky friends donating only cheap PANTY

After marriage, nothing was EASY

In one year, I became DADDY

I can't support my family and our BABY

Being tied down for life to repay HDB and rising monthly utilities to PUB

My bank account has NO MONEY, POSB balance is almost EMPTY

DBS wants to charge me EXTRA FEE insisting that "Nothing is FREE!"

So I moonlight as KARANG GUNI

Many times I want to jump into the sea to MATI

But that is not EASY

My wife cries: "Who is going to support me and our BABY?"

So I can't MATI

I went to seek assistance from the MP

His reply was simple and easy:

"Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me"

He never tell me any convincing Policy

My dear friends, can you please help Ong Ah Bee

[kennynah]

wahahahahaha....u are one talented Cherry....

************

one day, i was idling around Lucky Plaza while waiting for my appointment to arrive...there on Sundays are full of Philippinos and i overheard this conversation among a few of them...

"Rosy, where's Amy? She was just here just now"

Rosy : "Oh Amy, she took a tark-si bark to the fark-torie where she fugaht she left behind the puncakes"....

[Cherry]

Hae Hae, Hae Hae.

Kenny nay, Kenny nay.

Ho Chio, Ho Chio.

Don't pang jio, Don't pang jio.

[kennynah]

cherry...how about putting on an avatar? but if you like, you self portrait also can....

[Cherry]

Kenny oih,

First, let's help Ah Bee.
He wants to jump into the see.

......................................................................................................................................

Ah Bee, Help has ARRIVED!

ONG AH BEE ah, ONG AH BEE!

Simple woon ti can't solve, Ka Mei Kee See.

In Sin-a-Por, one family two salaries must bee.

Wife, go work in factoree.

Baby, give Mother see.

Every month, give Mother, dollar, five hundred plus three.

Stoopid Ah Bee, five hundred dollar is salary.

Plus ang pow, 1 dollar from you, 1 dollar from wifey and 1 dollar from babee.

Every evening, can go there eat dinner free.

On pretence to see Mother and Babee.

Then pocket still can have plenty monee.

Every night, very free

Can see char boh and lim ko pee.

Not enough, can still poon pee pee.

Sundays, can go look at sea.

Now, Hapee, or Not Hapee?

[kennynah]

mana eh hapee, honey. Hahaha

[Cherry]

Buay Hapee?

You ar hard 2 please.

Kenny Nay, Kenny Nay!

Wait till you C this day.

In Texa's coast swept the Tropical Storm.

And Oil shoots up like a bomb.

Your swift work force from your pocket digs out your every shilling.

To act BIG in the PCCW HKT Corp Holding.

Your wallet's fifty dollars become twenty-seven.

Because hedge funds attack your duit heaven.


Omitofu!
Think No Evil.
Speak No Evil.
Do No Evil.

Thus: Bo Evil.
Ah Man!

[kennynah]

hahaha...cherry..

so, the ah seng, ah beng and ah bee, trilogy is finally complete....

what shall we call this?

[Cherry]

A tough question!

Requires Ken's mental action.

Remember, a rose smells just as sweet

By whatever name you give it.