Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Oct 11)

Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby kennynah » Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:15 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: buay tahan.....

tonylim wrote:The Itch

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large brxxxts. Mick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Mick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Mick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Mick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Mick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Mick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Mick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Mick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent brxxxts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Mick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Mick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Mick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Mick.


The moral of the story............


Pay your bills!!!
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby behappyalways » Mon Oct 25, 2010 9:12 pm

血要热 头脑要冷 骨头要硬
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby winston » Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:26 am

The following is an incident that happened a few years ago when I was still in the Corporate world ..

I had to call up the Help Desk because I could not log onto my lap-top.

The guy on the other side spoke German to me. I told him that I dont understand German.

So he spoke German again but very slowly this time as if I can understand him, if he spoke more slowly the second time ...
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby kennynah » Sat Oct 30, 2010 1:30 pm

hopefully, i am not repeating this joke...

***********

there was a Chinese family with 5 sons.... eldest being 一郎, second in line, 二郎...so on...the youngest 五郎...

question is...who among these 5 brothers is the most popular among family friends, relatives and guests ?

Hidden Content:
answer is : 五郎
becos, everytime, some one comes visiting, they will knock on the door and shout out.... 五郎 di bo ? :mrgreen:
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby behappyalways » Sat Oct 30, 2010 4:40 pm

血要热 头脑要冷 骨头要硬
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby tonylim » Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:05 pm

Is there a difference between these two words?


The words 'COMPLETE' & 'FINISHED'

Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED.

But there is a difference.



When you marry the right one you are COMPLETE.

When you marry the wrong one you are FINISHED!
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby Cherry » Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:11 pm

Just for a laugh…..

Singapore Hospital Jokes

Do you know why New Changi Hospital (NCH) changed its name to Changi General Hospital (CGH)?
Because NCH stands for 'Never Come Home.
That's why business was very bad before it changed its name.
Now CGH stands for 'Can Go Home'. So business is picking up.

Business in Singapore General Hospital (SGH) is still going strong because SGH stands for 'Sure Go Home'!
Now National University Hospital (NUH) is also considering a name change. It stands for 'No Use Hospital'!
What about Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH). Not too good a name, no wonder so much problem.
It stands for ’ Tiam Tiam Si Hospital ' (Always Die or Die Quietly).
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby Cherry » Sun Nov 07, 2010 1:20 am

Released by Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands.

Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
There is only one perfect child in the world and every Mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every Neighbour has it
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Girlfriends are like CHOCOLATES, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands are like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying &
The other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your Life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second Woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the Same offence
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby winston » Sun Nov 07, 2010 4:35 pm

Hi-Tech Doctor

One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00."

The guy figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in thisample and deposited the $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noises,flashedlights, and printed out
the following analysis:


Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant....twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a
lawyer.

And.... if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get
better!
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"
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Re: Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Dec 10)

Postby tonylim » Thu Nov 18, 2010 1:59 pm

ONLY A MOTHER WOULD KNOW...

~A Cup of Tea ~

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys.



Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.



After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home.

My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'



Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.



Then she said, (as only a mother would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet bowl?"
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