Smile & Laugh 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

[millionairemind]

Business - Ah Beng Style

Ah Beng was involved in a terrible car accident. In the hospital, when he gained his consciousness, he called out for the nurse to know what had happened to him.

"I'm very sorry, sir, but you had involved in a very bad car crash". "Car crash! My Marcelly (aka Mercedes ) ! My Marcelly! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically. "Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries. You've lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it", she said apologetically.

"I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex piu leh ?" "Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries. You are in a very critical condition and all your family members are here to see you".

Ah Beng asked for his family to be called in. As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them.

"Wife, are you here?" "I am here husband, and I will never leave you"
"Son, are you here?" "I am here father, and I will never leave you"
"Daughter, are you here?" "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
Then with a worried look, Ah Beng said, "Aaaai yoh……if all of you are here, WHO IS LOOKING AFTER THE SHOP?!!!

[winston]

Deputy Bear clamps down on pot

Investigators say a large black bear raided a clandestine marijuana growing operation so often that it chased the grower away.

Deputies found food containers ripped apart and strewn everywhere, cans with bear teeth marks, claw marks and bear prints across the camp in Garfield County, Utah, on Tuesday.

''This bear is definitely law-enforcement minded,'' said Garfield County sheriff Danny Perkins. ''If I can find this bear I'm going to deputize him.''

Perkins said the operation on Boulder Mountain included 4,000 ''starter'' sacks of pot and 888 young plants.

''This particular bear apparently was not going to give up and basically chased these marijuana farmers away,'' Perkins said. ''Our county is so tough on drugs that even the wildlife are getting in on the action.''

AP

[millionairemind]

Market so very jialat.. how about a laugh to relieve stress???

Slamming Them Down

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."

The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.

When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife!"

[Niczach]

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....
Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

[mojo_]

Embedded videos have been disabled.
Click to view video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1NoOOoaNw

[millionairemind]

Niczach and Mojo - Thanks.. these two posts make me laugh until peng...

[Cherry]

Geylang Brothel

The pimp opened the brothel door in Geylang and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed,
good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" He asked.

"I'd like to see Lucy Lin", the man replied.

"Sir, I must warn you Lucy is our most expensive lady. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the pimp.

"No, I insist I want to see Lucy", he replied.

Just then, Lucy appeared and announced to the man she charged $2000 a visit. Without batting an eye, the man pulled out two thousand dollars and gave it to Lucy, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Lucy. Lucy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. And there were no discounts. The price was still $2000.

Again, the man whipped out the money, gave it to Lucy, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Lucy and they went upstairs.

After their session, Lucy questioned the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Who are you and where are you from?" she asked.

The man replied, "Hangchow, China".

"Really", she said. "I have family in Hangchow."

"I know", the man said. "Your aunt Lin Sui Mei died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your S$6,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Taxes
2. Stock markets go up and down
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

[millionairemind]

Titanic in Hokkien - SUPER FUNNY...

Embedded videos have been disabled.
Click to view video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEHS6GhJk2M&feature=related

[iam802]

Saw this on hardwarezone. Hitler and ERP

Embedded videos have been disabled.
Click to view video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoTqRQ29Od8

[Cherry]

http://www.dashpoemmovie.com< http://www.dashpoemmovie.com/

The video clip is accompanied by soothing music.