Smile & Laugh 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

[kennynah]

indeed, really tough question....

u very kind lah....the answer is all very clear in our minds...

sometimes, indeed prevention is better than cure.... dont switch over in the first place? .... hahaha...

the last time i listened to any of such speeches was ...hmmm.....hmm....scratch head.....hmm....cant remember man....

this is a real joke befitting of this thread...

(ps: let's see how many will dare to respond to your post)

[kennynah]

whenever i look at this picture...i laugh....the picture doesnt even need utter a word....

[kennynah]

one day...and this really happened... when i was at commonwealth mrt station....there came a caucasion (dun even know how to spell this word), came up and asked for direction... friendly singaporean that i am listened to his question...

"hi, is commonwealth line near by?".... so, i stared at him for a moment and replied "say again"...

"is commonwealth line around here?" said that fella... i had 2 choices, ignore him and walk away or try to explain to him that in singapore, we have north-south line, east-west line and north-east line....there's no commonwealth line...i decided to be a good samaritan and wasted my time detailing our MRT routes.

then....it dawned on me....this was an australian.... and then, i pointed to him where commonwealth lane is...not before telling him how to correctly pronounce LANE.... as in LAY-N

unfortunately, it's now worst than listening to jade seah, the commentaries by an australian covering the current track and field events....

[Cherry]

CHINA ENGLISH

1. In a Shanghai hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

2. In a Hangzhou hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

3. In a Jilin hotel: "You are very invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

4. In a Wuxi dry cleaner: "Please drop your trousers here for best results."

5. Outside a Tianjin clothing shop: "Order your summer suits quick. Because of big rush we
will execute customers in strict rotation."

6. In a Xian tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

7. In a Hangzhou zoo: "Please do not feed animals. If you have suitable food give it to the
guard on duty."

8. In a Taiyuan bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

9. In a Guilin hotel: "Because of impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.."

10. In a Huashan temple: "It is forbidden to enter a woman. Even a foreigner if
dressed as a man."

[Cherry]

Father....

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said 'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied 'My Dad doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book and answered 'I am the Father of many.'

The boy said 'My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way'

The priest, getting impatient, said 'I am the Father of hundreds.' and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,
'Maybe you should use a condom, and
wear your pants
backwards instead of your collar.'

[kennynah]

ok...this one i can laugh....hahahahaha...

[millionairemind]

Secret Code
Ah Beng joined a secret service agency and went for a very important assignment. No body knew where he went except they have a special number to contact him. But something happened to Ah Beng and he lost contact with his headquarters for a long time. His bosses tried to contact him but there was no reply. After a very long silence, a fax came in from Ah Beng. It has only 3 pictures, a chicken, a goat and a house. Everyone was trying to figure out what Ah Beng was trying to say .

Finally they called his girlfriend Ah Lian who could easily gave them the answer. What was Ah Beng’s secret message to his bosses ?

Hidden Content:

Answer : I am coming home (AYAM – KAMBING – HOME)

[kennynah]

nationally televised Miss Teen USA Pageant

Question : Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?

Her answer: "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future."

[iam802]

and I thought its because US is so big that it can't fit into the map.

[millionairemind]

K - that is a good one and I believe it is an actual occurence cos' I read it somewhere

If you want to see plain lack of general knowledge (about the world in general) among ordinary Americans, you can just walk Jay Leno and his section JayWalking... It is hilarious