Smile & Laugh 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby millionairemind » Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:15 pm

God's Gifts
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It’s a very handy thing" God told the couple, "and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that abilty."

Adam jumped up and blurted "Oh, give that to me! I’d love to be able to do that. It seems the sort of thing a man would do. Please give me that ability. It’d be so great. When I’m working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let fly. It’d be sooo cool. I could write my name in the sand. Please, God, let it be me you give the gift to, let me stand to pee, oh please."

Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted that so bad that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make Adam really happy, and she didn’t mind if Adam were the one to get this ability. Adam was happy, and proceeded to wash down the bark of the nearest tree, laughing with glee all the while.

"Fine", God said, looking back into his bag of leftovers. "What’s left here?" "Oh, yes. Multiple orgasms."
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby kennynah » Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:23 pm

i am tempted to laugh...but i shall refrain.....
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby winston » Wed Jul 30, 2008 4:30 pm

W.T.O. = World Talk Organization :P
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby kennynah » Wed Jul 30, 2008 4:32 pm

W.T.O = Winston The Oldhand :mrgreen:
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby winston » Wed Jul 30, 2008 4:41 pm

Ha Ha K... Actually, there is no wrinkles on my hand. Must be from all the hand exercise..

Typing on computer lah.. What were u thinking ? :D

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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby millionairemind » Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:20 pm

Really Adult joke below.. please do not open if you are easily offended.

Hidden Content:
Knickerless
Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.

Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.

The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes.

"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."

Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss.

Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do.

"I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him.

"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over
and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby kennynah » Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:34 pm

wahahahaha. Hahaha. And waaaahahaha
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby millionairemind » Thu Jul 31, 2008 4:28 pm

Mkt is so boring.. basically flat.. how about a joke to brighten up an otherwise dull day :)?

Love Thy Husband

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, he doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him."

"Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs."

"Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

Disclaimer - The author may at times own some of the stocks mentioned in this forum. All discussions are NOT to be construed as buy/sell recommendations. Readers are advised to do their own research and analysis.
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby -dol- » Thu Jul 31, 2008 4:41 pm

But MM, it is not a joke.

It occur to me that may be 8 out of 10 wives might share the same sentiment...

Ladies, any comments?
It's not the bottom if you are not crying.

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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby kennynah » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:54 pm

-dol- wrote:But MM, it is not a joke.

It occur to me .....



oh man dol....i am sorry.... 8-)
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