Smile & Laugh 07 (Oct 11 - Mar 12)

[winston]

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?

A: A widow.

[kennynah]

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?

A: A widow.

[winston]

Mechanic & Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish,

it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."

[winston]

Truck Driver

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter.

The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat at the counter.

The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.

Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles."

[winston]

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.

[winston]

Short Term Loan

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says.

The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back.

"That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away.

"Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

[iam802]

..
...
The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

A friend of mine does have this mindset (or exhibit some similar traits).

He is looking to buy a property in cash.

I asked him about getting a loan from the bank since interest rates is so low... and how that will open up more choices for selection as well (with the bigger budget).

His reply, "I do not need anything bigger than what my budget can afford. Why let the bank earns when I have the cash?"

[kennynah]

I asked him about getting a loan from the bank since interest rates is so low... and how that will open up more choices for selection as well (with the bigger budget).

His reply, "I do not need anything bigger than what my budget can afford. Why let the bank earns when I have the cash?"

generally, if you can make more than the interests paid on loans, you should borrow and reinvest your cash. but the challenge is whether you can pull it off.

it all boils down to risks undertaking.

[winston]

It's all in the punctuation:

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

[kennynah]

good one