Smile & Laugh 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby mojo_ » Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:37 am

millionairemind wrote:Girlfriend Tech Support E-mail
Any Ideas???

Try the link below:

CAUTION: DO NOT CLICK LINK IF YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT EG. MAKING AN ONLINE TRADE!!

Or if you do not have a sense of humour - you have been warned!


:lol:

Need help? Try me
Not what but when.
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby millionairemind » Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:56 pm

Tight Skirt, Bus Stop

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

Disclaimer - The author may at times own some of the stocks mentioned in this forum. All discussions are NOT to be construed as buy/sell recommendations. Readers are advised to do their own research and analysis.
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby millionairemind » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:01 pm

Image
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

Disclaimer - The author may at times own some of the stocks mentioned in this forum. All discussions are NOT to be construed as buy/sell recommendations. Readers are advised to do their own research and analysis.
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The "Mo Lae Tau" Thread (was: What Can We Do for Grandrake ?

Postby blid2def » Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:49 pm

Okay silly pictures time. Come play, come play!

A is for ANG TIONG!!!

Image
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Re: The "Mo Lae Tau" Thread (was: What Can We Do for Grandrake ?

Postby kennynah » Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:04 am

this one lagi best.....

Imagetopedia
Options Strategies & Discussions .(Trading Discipline : The Science of Constantly Acting on Knowledge Consistently - kennynah).Investment Strategies & Ideas

Image..................................................................<A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control-Proverbs 29:11>.................................................................Image
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby millionairemind » Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:13 pm

Since we are on the topic of trading.. here is one joke you might have read.

http://www.jesse-livermore.com/blog/pre ... ad-trades/

Pretty Girls - You are Bad Trades
Wed 14 Nov 2007
.

Girl Asks - What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

Guy Replies - We would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

Disclaimer - The author may at times own some of the stocks mentioned in this forum. All discussions are NOT to be construed as buy/sell recommendations. Readers are advised to do their own research and analysis.
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby rooster » Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:45 pm

Speaking about dating, I tried this yesterday at a disco.. There was this pretty girl whom I can't take my eyes off. So I went up to her and said, "Excuse me, Miss. I'm in the process of writing a book, a telephone book and I was wondering if you would give me your number." It worked! :mrgreen:
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby millionairemind » Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:56 pm

Rooster,

You Dating Champion leh!!! Congrats... :P

Smooth... :mrgreen:

Cheers,
mm
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

Disclaimer - The author may at times own some of the stocks mentioned in this forum. All discussions are NOT to be construed as buy/sell recommendations. Readers are advised to do their own research and analysis.
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby Cherry » Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:01 pm

Just for Laughs

Two men

met while both were looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st:
Forget mine.
Lets find yours!!

**********

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your
friends".

**********


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"

**********

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic
is when both are pregnant.

**********

Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got
heart attack & our driver ran away.

**********

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
urs
???

No, I work in a condom factory & these are
customer complaints.

**********

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son,
that's
confidential!

**********

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we
should
talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.

Mother Faints... --
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Re: Smile & Laugh

Postby helios » Thu Jun 12, 2008 8:47 pm

a FAQ below, an inquiry from your kid perhaps:

How are babies made?

when mummy and daddy have special hugs, mummy sometimes whispers a magic word to daddy.

when daddy hears e magic word, he feels v happy and in a few seconds they will have ordered a baby - a bit like shopping on e internet.

>>> what? an express online delivery?
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