Smile & Laugh 07 (Oct 11 - Mar 12)

[winston]

Terrorists

Building Security has notified us that there have been 5 suspected terrorists working at our office.

Four of the five have been apprehended: Bin Sleeping, Bin Loafing, Bin Gossiping, and Bin Surfing have been taken into custody.

Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the fifth cell member, Bin Working, in the office.

Police are confident that anyone who looks like Bin Working will be very easy to spot.

They thought they had apprehended Bin Working sitting at a desk, but it was actually Bin Surfing trying to impersonate Bin Working.

[kennynah]

this one Mo Tuck Teng

A 3 yrs old girl asked the MP during the house visit.

"Mommy said, you sad because your salary cut by 1/3?"

The MP smiled and answered: "My dear little girl, does your mommy give you one glass of milk before you go to sleep? Imagine tonight, your mother will give you 1/3 less. What will you feel? You will still feel thirsty, right? If you feel thirsty, will you sleep well?"

The 3 yrs old girl then understood why the MP is sad. She turned to her mother "Mommy, can you give milk to our MP, tonight?"

this was actually posted on grace fu's FB wall

[winston]

Investments

If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago, you would have $42 left.

With Lehman, you would have $6.60 left.

With Fannie or Freddie, you would have less than $5 left.

But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turn in the cans for the aluminum recycling Refund, you would have had $214.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

[kennynah]

Investments

If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago, you would have $42 left.

With Lehman, you would have $6.60 left.

With Fannie or Freddie, you would have less than $5 left.

But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turn in the cans for the aluminum recycling Refund, you would have had $214.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

[kennynah]

Women are a mystery to British physicist Hawking
Reuters – Thu, Jan 5, 2012

LONDON (Reuters) - The biggest mystery in the universe perplexing one of the world's best known scientists is -- women.

When New Scientist magazine asked "Brief History of Time" author Stephen Hawking what he thinks about most, the Cambridge University professor renowned for unravelling some of the most complex questions in modern physics answered: "Women. They are a complete mystery."

[iam802]

[winston]

Animal Jokes

The National Game warden put out a warning to all hikers in his area.

Warning that they should wear small bells on their boots so not to startle the bears.

To distinguish the grizzly bear the notice read-- small bears droppings are small with nut and berries in it.

Grizzly bear droppings are much larger with nuts and berries and little tiny bells in it.

[kennynah]

this one, i guarantee you chio kah peng... if not, i won't post another joke here, ever again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oEPqT92 ... re=related

[tonylim]

this one, i guarantee you chio kah peng... if not, i won't post another joke here, ever again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oEPqT92 ... re=related

[winston]

A salesman telephone a household, and a four-year-old answered.

Salesman: May I speak to your mother?

Child: She is not here.

Salesman: Well, is anyone else there?

Child: My sister

Salesman: O.K., fine. May I speak to her?

Child: I guess so.

There was a long silence on the other phone. Then:

Child: Hello?

Salesman: It’s you. I thought you were going to call your sister.

Child: I did. The trouble is: I can’t get her out of the playpen.