Smile & Laugh 06 (Aug 10 - Oct 11)

[tonylim]

Circumcised (this is priceless!)



A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his Pxxxx hanging out.

'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'

[kennynah]

hahaha....funny, tony

[winston]

Fake Smiling Makes You Miserable
Source: The Telegraph


Pretending to be happy can actually make you more miserable - especially if you're a woman, according to a new study.

Researchers found that walking around with a forced smile and faking happiness simply led to people feeling gloomier.

So, putting a brave face on your woes could actually be counterproductive.

The research found that women suffered more than men when pretending to be happy.

Psychologist Dr Brent Scott, who led the study, said employers should take note because forcing workers to smile when dealing with the public can backfire.

He said: "Smiling for the sake of smiling can lead to emotional exhaustion and withdrawal, and that's bad for the organisation."

Dr Scott said the research showed customer-service workers who 'fake smile' throughout the day worsen their mood and then withdraw from work, so their productivity drops.

He added: "Bosses may think that getting their staff to smile is good for the organisation, but that's not necessarily the case."

Dr Scott, assistant professor of management at Michigan State University, analysed a group of bus drivers during at two-week period.

The study is one of the first of its kind to examine emotional displays over a period of time and compare the different effect that has on men and women.

His team examined the effects of surface acting - or fake smiling - compared to what was termed 'deep acting', or cultivating positive emotions by recalling pleasant memories.

Dr Scott said: "Women were harmed more by surface acting, meaning their mood worsened even more than the men and they withdrew more from work.
"However, they were helped more by deep acting, which means their mood improved more and they withdrew less."

Dr Scott suggested women tend to suffer more when pretending to be happy because they are expected to be more emotionally expressive than men.
Therefore, faking a smile while feeling down is more likely to go against their normal behaviour and cause more harmful feelings.

Although, 'deep acting' seemed to improve mood in the short-term, Dr Scott says it's not a long-term solution to feeling unhappy.

He said: "There have been some suggestions that if you do this over a long period you start to feel inauthentic.

"You're trying to cultivate positive emotions, but at the end of the day you may not feel like yourself anymore."

The study appears in the February issue of the Academy of Management Journal.

http://www.mindpowernews.com/FakeSmiling.htm

[winston]

A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, “What are you looking for?

He replied, “The expiration date.”

[kennynah]

hahahaha....funny W

[winston]

Haircut

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" . The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" . The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back." He must be going some place where he gets seen right away.

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So, where does that guy go when he leaves?" Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"

[Chinaman]

Let's check if you have early signs of A lzheimer.

Do the test and find out.

Alzheimer's Test

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM

2. F_ _K

3. P_N_S

4. PU_S_

5. S_X

6. BOO_S

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Answers:


1. R A NDOM
2. FORK
3. P A NTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6. BOOKS


You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

You do NOT have an A lzheimer's Problem.

You have a Sex Problem!

W A TCH IT......

[kennynah]

hahahaha....funny bro C ....hahahaha...

[tonylim]

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659


A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,

She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.



The case came up in court.


The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)

What he had to say for himself.



The man replied,

'Well your Honor, it was like this:

When the lady got on the bus,

I couldn't help but notice her condition.

She sat down under a sign that said,

'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,

'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,

'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time

And sat under a sign that said,

'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'

... I just lost it.'



'CASE DISMISSED!!'

[millionairemind]

COPPER WIRE
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".

One week later, the Dept of Minerals and Energy in Malaysia, reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Central Kedah region, Mahatir Mohammed, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Mahatir has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Malaysia had already gone wireless."

Malaysia Boleh !